Democracy on the Edge: You're Not Going to Like This… But We Need to Talk

It’s hard to imagine something more gut-wrenching for some of us than seeing Donald Trump reelected. For those who see his leadership as emblematic of division, hatred, and moral decay, reaching out to his supporters feels counterintuitive—maybe even impossible. But that’s precisely what I believe we need to do.

This isn’t about condoning the policies or rhetoric we find so abhorrent. It’s not about pretending we see eye-to-eye or ignoring the actual harm many feel. It’s about recognizing that the chasm between us is more dangerous than any one leader.

It’s about starting conversations, not shouting matches.

Acknowledging the Pain and Anger

Let’s not sugarcoat it: Donald Trump’s reelection feels, to many, like a punch to the gut. For those who value inclusion, equity, and justice, his presidency represents the antithesis of these ideals. His words and actions have emboldened the worst of America—racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, and a disdain for truth itself.

It’s exhausting, infuriating, and personal for so many, especially for those who have seen their communities targeted or diminished. The frustration is valid. The fear is real.

I’ll admit it: I have felt this anger deeply. It has sometimes spilled into outright disdain for anyone who supported Trump. I’ve blocked past acquaintances, former friends, and even family members. It felt like a way to protect myself, a boundary against the hatred I associated with their choices. And even now, as I write these words, I wrestle with the idea of reaching out.

But I am sharing this perspective despite my struggle: I want to be true to my core values. I believe in democracy, even though it has been severely rattled. I believe in moving this country forward despite the obstacles being monumental. As a democracy-loving, progressive idealist, I believe we must find a way to empower ourselves and our ideals in the face of adversity.

I’m sharing this approach not because it’s easy or natural but because I don’t see a more effective alternative.

Understanding the Role of Empathy

Empathy isn’t about agreeing with someone or condoning their behavior—it’s about understanding their perspective and recognizing their humanity.

Trump supporters are often characterized as a monolith, but the reality is far more complex. People vote for many reasons: fear, frustration, hope, or even just a desire to disrupt the status quo. These emotions, however misguided we might believe them to be, are still valid human experiences.

Empathy doesn’t mean excusing harmful beliefs or actions. It means acknowledging that most people are more than the worst of their choices. It’s about being willing to ask, Why do they feel this way? What are they afraid of? What are they hoping for?

Empathy is crucial because it allows us to connect on a deeper level. It helps to soften the defensiveness that can arise in political discussions. More importantly, it lays the groundwork for mutual understanding, the first step toward meaningful change.

I’ve seen the power of empathy firsthand. When we listen to someone with an open heart—even someone whose views we find deeply troubling—we often find glimpses of shared humanity. It doesn’t mean we’ll agree, but we’re more likely to move the conversation forward rather than entrench the divide.

Meeting People Where They Are

As a former teacher and now an empowerment coach, I’ve learned that one of the most powerful ways to build connections is to meet people where they are, not where we wish them to be. This principle requires humility and patience, qualities that are often in short supply in today’s polarized world.

For me, this approach also comes with an important caveat. Those of us from the LGBTQ+ community—a marginalized community under increasing threat—I fully acknowledge that this approach isn’t for everyone. If your personal safety or mental health is at risk, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being. There is no shame in setting boundaries to protect yourself.

But it's worth considering for those who can take this step. Staying true to your values, to your belief in dialogue and democracy, is an act of personal agency. It’s a way to reclaim control over a reality that often feels out of control and frightening.

The Case for Reaching Out

It’s tempting to write off Trump supporters as irredeemable—I have many times. But when we do that, we give up not only on them but also on democracy itself. A nation cannot function, let alone thrive, when its citizens are this polarized. I’ve admittedly contributed to that polarization in the past in conversations and posts on social media.

Bridging divides doesn’t mean compromising our values. It means refusing to give up on the idea that we’re all part of the same human story. It means recognizing that progress doesn’t come from silencing or shaming those who disagree with us but from engaging them in dialogue.

This is hard, uncomfortable work. It asks us to sit with people whose views we may find abhorrent, people who do not want us to exist, to listen even when we want to scream, and to challenge our assumptions about what they believe and why.

Practical Steps for Connection

So, what does reaching out look like? It’s not about grand gestures or forcing agreement. It’s about small, meaningful actions that build bridges, one conversation at a time:

• Start with shared concerns. Ask about the issues that matter to them—education, healthcare, safety—and share your own. You may be surprised at how much common ground exists beneath the surface.

• Approach with curiosity. Instead of assuming the worst, ask questions: What led you to this perspective? What do you hope for the future? Genuine curiosity can disarm defensiveness.

• Agree to disagree. Not every conversation will end in consensus, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to win an argument but to have open communication, hopefully working toward building mutual understanding and perhaps moving us closer to respecting one another.

What’s at Stake

Why does this matter? To me, the alternative—a nation divided beyond repair—is unthinkable. When we stop talking to each other, we lose the ability to solve our biggest challenges.

Trump didn’t create America’s divisions; he exploited them. Healing those divisions will take more than a single election cycle or a change in leadership. It will take us—every one of us—choosing to do the hard, uncomfortable work of connection.

A Call to Action

So today, I challenge you to friend a Trump supporter, follow them online, ask them to coffee, listen to their story, and share yours. You don’t have to agree, you probably won’t on a host of issues, and you don’t have to like it. But if we’re ever going to heal, we must start somewhere.

Healing starts here. With us. Together.