I am sure most of us in the LGBTQ+ Community know all too well what it feels like to live in a world that often encourages conformity, the essence of authenticity stands out as a beacon of self-discovery and genuine connection. Being authentic means embracing who you truly are, free from the constraints of societal expectations and the pressures to conform. Let’s explore the meaning of authenticity, why it's crucial, and how you can embark on the journey of being authentically you and ultimately, a happier you!
Understanding Authenticity
Authenticity is not about conforming to external standards but rather about embracing individuality. It involves a deep understanding of oneself and the courage to live in alignment with your true values and beliefs. Too often, societal expectations can lead us away from our authentic selves. We often “mask” our true selves in order to “behave” in what would be an acceptable manner by friends, family, and society. By recognizing and embracing our true selves, we can lead more fulfilling lives, foster genuine connections, and attract others who accept who we truly are.
Best Practices for Being Authentically You
Identify Your Values - At the core of authenticity lies a clear understanding of your values. What matters most to you? Define your core values and let them guide your decisions and actions. Aligning your life with your values is a powerful way to ensure authenticity in all aspects of your life.
Embrace Vulnerability - Authenticity requires vulnerability. It's about breaking down barriers and allowing others to see the real you. Embrace vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness. It fosters genuine connections with others who appreciate you for who you truly are.
Practice Self-Expression - Find and cultivate your unique voice. Whether through art, writing, or any other form of self-expression, use creativity to convey your thoughts and feelings. This process not only allows you to understand yourself better but also helps others understand and connect with you authentically.
Set Boundaries - Knowing your limits and communicating them effectively is crucial for authenticity. Establishing and maintaining boundaries ensures that you stay true to yourself, even in the face of external pressures. It's a way of prioritizing your well-being and maintaining a healthy balance in relationships.
Learn from Mistakes - Embrace imperfections and view mistakes as opportunities for growth. Authenticity is not about perfection but about continuous self-improvement. Learn from your experiences, adapt, and use setbacks as stepping stones toward becoming a better version of yourself.
Potential Pitfalls to Avoid
Fear of Judgment - The fear of judgment can be a significant obstacle to authenticity. Overcoming this fear involves shifting your focus from external approval to self-approval. Remember that you are the author of your own story, and the opinions of others should not define your worth.
Comparing Yourself to Others - “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Often attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt. Each individual's journey is unique, and comparing yourself to others only hinders your authenticity. Celebrate your individuality and recognize the beauty in being different.
Suppressing Authenticity for Acceptance - Conforming to fit in might provide short-term acceptance, but it comes at the cost of suppressing your true self. Strive for a balance between authenticity and social harmony. Authentic connections arise when people appreciate you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be. You WILL attract those that value who YOU are when you are authentically yourself.
Neglecting Self-Care - Authenticity requires self-care. Neglecting your well-being can lead to burnout and hinder your ability to stay true to yourself. Prioritize self-care, recognizing that taking care of yourself is not selfish but essential for living authentically.
Embracing authenticity is a courageous journey of self-discovery and self-expression. By identifying your values, embracing vulnerability, practicing self-expression, setting boundaries, and learning from mistakes, you can foster authenticity in your life. Avoiding the pitfalls of fear, comparison, conformity, and neglecting self-care will help you navigate this journey successfully. Remember, the world needs the unique and authentic you. Celebrate your individuality, and let authenticity be the guiding light on your path to a more fulfilling life.
This article first appeared in the January 2024 edition of the Cortland LGBTQ Center Newsletter, published on January 3, 2024 in their Advice Column. Writer Garry Haraveth, Owner & Coach of Gay Life Journey, is on the Advisory Board for the Cortland LGBTQ Center.